yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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