Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think your dad took our porno
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
