I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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