Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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