you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
