He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
