Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
