tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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