I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
