Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
