my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
