just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
