I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think people are normalizing furries
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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