friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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