Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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