yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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