I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
