I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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