you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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