alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
