no, he came in my armpit
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
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no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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