gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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