so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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