I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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