someone threw a dead crab at me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
