Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
