I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
