Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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