Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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