dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
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I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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