Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
