If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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