member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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