if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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