two words: eviction party
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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