We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
