Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
