This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
