Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize