I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
