So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize