i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
