in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
