is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
