I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
