I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
