yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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