I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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