I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
