I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
