Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
