All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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