jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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