I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
