So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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