How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sext me about skeletons
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm both gender and math confused
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
