you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
