No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
