btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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