I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
