Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What a dumb baby whore.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
