Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
