you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
