you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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