I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
